Volume 1 · About the Swarm
We get hit.
We don't die.
Cockroach Money is a financial-independence simulator built on a simple biological fact: cockroaches survived the dinosaurs, the ice age, Doordarshan, demonetisation, and your uncle's stock tips. Your money should aspire to the same dignity.
Exhibit A · Indian Household, c. forever
"First they laugh at you. Then they hit you with a chappal. Then you outlive the chappal."
— Roughly, the Cockroach Doctrine
Founded
By two people
who got tired of opening five tabs and a 47-year-old Excel sheet to answer "am I cooked?"
Funded by
Nobody. Still.
No VC. No "relationship manager". No commission on the SIP your cousin's wife sells. Just maths.
Survives
Market crashes. Bear runs. WhatsApp forwards.
Allegedly also nuclear winter. We're testing in production.
Questions nobody answered honestly
"How much do I need to quit before my boss does?"
"Is 1 crore actually enough or did inflation already eat it?"
"Will my SIP at 20k/month be enough, or am I dreaming in 1998 rupees?"
"If a fund manager and a cockroach race through a bear market, who wins?"
Things we will absolutely never do
Recommend a mutual fund because someone paid us ₹1.2 per click.
Sell you ULIPs disguised as 'wealth protection'.
Forward you to a 'relationship manager' named Rohan.
Tell you crypto is 'the future' without showing the variance.
Use the phrase 'wealth journey' unironically.
Hide the assumptions inside a black box and call it AI.
"We won't tell you which mutual fund to buy. We won't sell you insurance. We won't introduce you to a 'relationship manager'. We will show you the maths. Then you decide. Survive the system. Plan your escape."
— The Mission · घोषणापत्र